I thought Father’s Day was the perfect day to respond to this e-mail I received from a single dad, who seems like he’s lacking self-confidence when it comes to dating.
I recently read one of your posts, “Single Dad Dating: “Are My Kids Hurting My Love Life?”” and one of the things that stood out to me was when you mentioned that the demographic of girls in their 20s are probably not going to be into a divorced guy with kids, and around 35 and up is the right age. However, I am 24 years old with a 4 year old boy. I was divorced about 7 months ago, my ex-wife cheated on me and left me. We were together since I was 17. I have yet to date, but I am wondering now if it will even be possible for me, because of my age. I’m obviously going to want to date twenty-something women because that’s how old I am. I am having an extremely hard time getting over my ex and I so badly want to meet someone new. And advice would be great!
The first thing I want to do is to wish you, along with all single dads a very happy Father’s Day!
Regarding the post you are referring to, I probably should have clarified the fact that if the single dad is in his twenties, of course women in their twenties will be interested in him. I think the reason I didn’t think of it is because you don’t meet too many men in their twenties who are divorced with kids.
What I want to say to you is, I am so sorry that your wife cheated and left. That is heartbreaking, and I’m sure will take a long time to get over. Here is the good news.
One, you have a four year old son!! Yay!! I bet he is adorable and the love of your life. So, enjoy him and enjoy Father’s Day! Secondly, you are just a baby at 24. Your life is just beginning. I didn’t get married for the first time until I was 35 years old. I had kids at age 36 and 38. My point is, you have your whole life ahead of you that can include falling in love, getting married again, having more kids and spending decades with someone (if that’s what you want.)
It’s probably too soon to think about trusting someone enough to remarry, but you will see that as time goes by, you will learn to trust again, and you will learn how to choose the right partner this time—someone who won’t cheat. Just take your time. You aren’t in a rush. Have some fun, go on some dates, talk to women, get to know them without putting pressure on yourself to be in a relationship. It will fall into place, I promise! She’s out there!
I want to talk about one more thing. There is something very sexy about a single dad, whether you are in your twenties, thirties, forties, fifties or even older. Women love to watch men be fathers. We love seeing you interact with your kids, giving them hugs and kisses, teaching them, caring for them. We think it’s admirable when you do things that married dads don’t because they don’t have to (because mom is there). And we respect how you are juggling work, picking up your kids, and spending time with them when I’m sure it is challenging at times to make it all work.
Seeing a dad love his children, combined with respect equals sex appeal. It makes us love you and want you because it shows this beautiful side that we wouldn’t otherwise see (if you didn’t have kids.)
So, when you go on dates, go in knowing that’s what women are thinking. Even women in their twenties (for the younger divorced dads)! There is lots of sex appeal to the single dad. It is one of the many qualities that show love, maturity, and a nurturing soft side.
Keep up the great work and happy Father’s Day!!
Great post, when the right lady comes along it won’t matter if you have a child or not, because she will fall in love with you and your son. I agree that this father is still young though and instead of thinking about settling down again he should enjoy this time with his son because that time does go quickly and when a woman comes along he feels is right then embrace it.