Jackie, I’m recently single and I’ve been in a relationship for so long that I forgot how to talk to women. Also, will I have patience for the games?
Recently single is a tough place to be. It’s scary, your self-esteem probably isn’t the best right now, you’re probably a lot older than you were the last time you were dating, and there is probably a little bit of insecurity going on. Yet, isn’t it nice to be starting a fresh, new chapter of your life? Despite feeling uncertain, being newly single has an element of excitement to it, call it hope, perhaps, and a chance to start over—this time with someone who is more right for you.
You’re asking me how to talk to women and as a woman, I think I can give you a fair answer. There is no formula or “way” to talk to a woman. There are countless things I can tell you not to say or do, but those are probably pretty obvious. As for how to talk to us, here are some tips:
How to Talk to a Woman:
- Be yourself. That’s all you can be. If she doesn’t like that, it isn’t a match and you aren’t interested in her either.
- Be honest. I’m actually working on blog (will be published in a couple days) on how to answer the question, “Why did you get divorced?” You really can’t go wrong being upfront because we’re going to find out later, anyhow.
- Being funny is great, but we also don’t want to feel like we’re in a room with a Eddie Murphy. That said, women love funny guys who make us laugh.
- Ask her about HER. All people (not just women) like to talk about themselves. So, if you can’t think of what to say, just ask her something about herself. Chances are, she’ll go on and on!
- Be kind. Just be the nice person that you are. Whatever woman says that women don’t like nice guys is an idiot.
- Compliment her, but don’t overdo it and act like you’re sucking up. That is a turnoff.
- Don’t act shocked when she tells you her age. Over 45, we don’t buy that act.
- Don’t go on and on about your ex and badmouth her. She will never go out with you if you do that. And, if you call your ex the b word, or heaven forbid the c word, forget it. You’re done.
- When talking about your kids, it’s cute to be into them, but don’t go on and on for a really long time.
- When talking about your job, if you hate it, I wouldn’t share that. Try to talk about the positives of it. There is nothing worse to a woman than a man who hates what he does and does nothing to change his situation.
- If you really like her, ask her out during the conversation, not just before you’re ready to walk away. That makes women feel secure and happy, and then the conversation just gets better and better.
- I love this one: after you get her number and leave, text her a couple minutes later and say something really cute and witty. Women LOVE that!
Those are my tips. If you are thinking, ‘I already knew all those,’ than two things: one, you shouldn’t have written to me, and two, you are confirming what I could have told you—that dating and talking to girls hasn’t changed much since the last time you did it!
As far as having patience for the games, my advice is simple. DON’T PLAY ANY and you won’t have to worry about whether or not you have patience!!
Hell ive only had three gfs in my life. Now gotta start over at 51.. Scary and shy
I feel your pain. I’m 67, living in the middle of the Mark Twain National Forest and left out of the blue by my wife of 23 yrs. We’re all scared but the past is the past and the future is all we have. You can wallow in your pain (we all do) or suck it up and move on. Fake it till you make it.
I can’t get out of the idea that my situation is unique and the possibility of meeting the right woman next to impossible. I have tried to dating sites, two dates in all no luck there, 62 years old married 20 years with an 11 year old split custody paying through the teeth debt from divorce huge working seven days a week, most women my age have very different lives. I’m involved with my kids school and play dates Halloween decorations. I want to start again but don’t know how,