This is one of the most beautiful and inspiring divorce stories I have ever read. Written by a soldier coping with divorce, the story will take you from his “broken” moment to the day he found strength, courage and what I believe is the key to healing: self-awareness.
I love people who admit partial fault in their divorce. It’s so refreshing to hear someone admit that they made mistakes. People who can’t do that have real problems, in my opinion.
But what I find most inspiring about this man’s journey is that he found a healthy coping mechanism that benefited him not only emotionally, but physically and in his career.
Enjoy this amazing post!
Coping With Divorce: A Soldier’s Inspirational Story
Last year, 3 weeks before the movers came to box our house up for the 3rd time in 5 years (Army family) my wife sat me down and wanted out. I was broken. We had separated but mended things, or so I thought.
I was no saint through our marriage. I could sit here and try to justify my actions, but the bottom line is my actions were mine. That didn’t make the divorce any easier. We agreed to do it without lawyers, which was nice. We both could’ve drug each other through the mud in court, but the real people it would’ve affected were our kids. I let her have them without a fight. It felt like someone took a hot piece of iron and pushed it down my throat. I cried, no, wept for days.
When the dust settled, the last night in the house, I was alone. Everything we owned had been separated and my stuff was on its way to my new duty station. I had a camp chair, my iPad, a few minor household items and my dog. I sat in that empty home, watched Cast Away and cried. A home that was so full of love and laughter just a few months before, was now hollow and echo-filled. I peered into the backyard where there was once a trampoline, a sandbox and outdoor furniture. It was empty and dark. My entire life, as I knew it, was over. I no longer had purpose.
Then the moment came in Cast Away when Chuck Noland was sitting in his friends house in Memphis after being rescued and he said something that stuck with me: “…I know what I have to do now. I gotta keep breathing. Because tomorrow the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide could bring?” So, I began a process.
I began to take entire days, just one breath at a time. I had to tell myself “you aren’t dead. You’re alive. Go do something.” Then the little voice got a little louder. I began running a 5k each day. I arrived to my unit and ran more. Then, two months after that fateful day, that voice picked up a Captain America shield and told me I could no longer feel sorry for myself and that it’s time to turn my feelings to power. I began lifting, running and completely revamped my diet. I am not done.
I will never reach a finish line. There will be no medals for winners. But out of pain and anger, something else, something unexpected arose. I am now a Master Fitness Trainer and dietitian for my unit. Yes, it stung like hell being pushed out of my seat at the family table. Yes, there are times that I am so bitter I can’t talk to her. No, I won’t be forever angry because we created two wonderful children who are healthy and they know they’re loved. She and I still talk. We occasionally will have Skype “drinks” where we have wine and just talk over our iPads. I don’t know if she’ll ever read this, but I hope she will. Honey, I’m sorry.
Like this blog post? Check out my post: The Road to finding Inner Peace is paved with Self-awareness.