Divorce Mediation: Avoiding the Ugly Side of Divorce

I am a huge fan of divorce mediation if the situation is right. Both during my divorce and then after the divorce, I experienced mediation. Both times it was a productive experience, as we were able to draft agreements we both felt comfortable with. We then ran them by our attorneys and that was it! So much less expensive, so much friendlier, and so much less time!

This is a guest post by Divorce Mediator, Brian James on the subject.


Avoiding the Ugly Side of Divorce – by Brian James, Divorce Mediator

The words we speak make up so much of our life experience. When people hear the word “divorce”, feelings of anger, hurt, and loneliness can pierce their heart. Why is it that the word “divorce” can turn loving caring people into arch enemies? Divorce can definitely bring out the worst in people.

The word “Divorce” is a word that can cause so much hatred, pain, and loss of control. Many people, when faced with divorce, immediately feel the need to make the person they fell in love with become their worst enemy and the root of all evil. After the death of a loved one, divorce is the most emotionally charged period in a person’s life. Whether there was an affair, a loss of love, or even a mutual agreement to divorce, it affects everyone involved, especially the children.

The wave of emotions in a divorce runs deep, from hatred to sadness to anxiety to loneliness, one at a time or a combination of all of them all at once. Once happy, calm lives can become torn into millions of pieces. Whatever couples can do to reduce the level of conflict will make the transition easier. That’s why many individuals are now opting for divorce mediation to avoid the ugly side of divorce.

Divorce mediation, by design, is a peaceful option that allows people to work out the details of their divorce out of court and keep them in control of the process. Imagine calmly working through the decisions of who gets the house, dividing up the financial assets, and setting visitation with the children. A divorce mediator can help couples work through this process without the expense, stress, drama or court.

When working with a divorce mediator, individuals can draft a divorce and parenting agreement that is mutually beneficial. Having a neutral third party to assist in sorting through divorce issues truly makes divorce an easier process both emotionally and financially. Plus, the divorce mediator helps couples ensure that the best interest of the children comes first in decision making. In the end, everyone wins with divorce mediation.

Research shows that divorce agreements reached through divorce mediation result in greater cooperation post-divorce. It’s a real asset in avoiding court conflicts down the road. Additionally, with therapy and coaching services available, individuals have a full array of support services.

Many divorce mediators have a therapist on staff as well. When working with a therapist, individuals can unwind the difficult string of emotions from divorce. Additionally, a life coach can offer proactive advice to help individuals achieve happiness and balance as they rebuild their lives.

Court battles can be financially devastating to a family and the emotional toll it leaves can run deep. Fortunately, mediation, coaching, and therapy offer a calmer alternative in avoiding the ugliness of divorce court. With mediation, individuals and families can avoid the hurt and expense of the court process. Divorce mediation is a cost effective, amicable solution for ending a marriage. Hundreds of divorced individuals attest to the fact that mediation made the transition of divorce easier, less painful, and more affordable.

Brian James is a Divorce Mediator and Parenting Coordinator and practices throughout the Chicagoland area. He is unique in this field in that he is a non-attorney mediator and has been a neutral his entire career. He believes in peaceful and cost effective divorces for his clients and works with both of them to reach mutually beneficial agreements that are good for the entire family, especially the children. learn more: 



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Jackie Pilossoph

Editor-in-chief: Jackie Pilossoph

Divorced Guy Grinning is a blog for men facing divorce and dating after divorce. It's kind of like hanging out with your platonic female divorced friend and hearing her perspective on your divorce and your love life issues.

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