5 Signs You’re In An Unhealthy Relationship by Leticia Summers
Starting a new relationship is an exciting time. The initial honeymoon period is filled with starry-eyed happiness, and it feels like you two are the only people in the world. However, that initial happiness doesn’t always last. No one expects it to happen to them, but you may one day realize that some parts of your relationship no longer feel right. To help determine the health of your relationship, here are five signs that you might be in an unhealthy relationship.
1. You feel like you need to change who you are to make him/her happy
In every relationship, you should always feel comfortable enough to be your authentic self. It’s normal to be a little bit nervous to show your quirks when your relationship is in its early days, but if you find yourself uncomfortable being yourself further down the road, it could be a warning sign.
If you finally muster up the courage to show your partner part of yourself that you’re insecure about, you certainly don’t want to find that your partner rejects that part of you. In a healthy relationship, you should be comfortable enough to express yourself without fear that your partner will reject you or try to change you.
2. Poor communication
Communication is a key component of every healthy relationship. If you find it constantly difficult to communicate with your partner, it could be a red flag. Poor communication can come in many forms. Your partner may flat-out refuse to discuss certain topics, a technique that Psychology Today calls “stonewalling.” You may also find that any time you try to tackle certain topics, the conversation quickly devolves into a fight.
3. You feel personally responsible for your partner’s well being
Your partner should never rely solely on you to make them feel good. In this type of relationship, you find that when you’re partner is angry or upset, they constantly blame you for their negative emotions and expect you to make it better. You may feel like you’re walking on eggshells trying to keep them happy. This is an unfair burden to place on you, and you should end the relationship if things don’t change.
4. Lack of trust or privacy
Relationships should be built on mutual trust. A lack of trust can manifest itself in different ways. Does your partner demand to know where you’re going and who you’re with? Do you feel the need to go through your partner’s phone because you don’t believe what they say to you? Are you able to rely on your partner’s fidelity? All of these indicate an intense lack of trust that can b toxic. If you find that you and your partner can’t trust each other, it may be time to reevaluate the relationship.
5. Lack of respect
You and your partner should respect all parts of each other. Disrespect, like a lack of trust, can show itself in a variety of ways. A common sign of disrespect is a partner who mocks or invalidates your emotions. They may tell you you’re being stupid or whiny. Insults are another common sign of disrespect. If your partner is constantly making fun of you or putting you down, that is a big red flag. You and your partner should endeavor to lift each other up, to support each other in ways big and small.
Romantic relationships are a complicated and personal thing. No relationship is perfect, but there are certain things that should simply not be tolerated. If you think that your relationship may be unhealthy, consider talking to family, friends, or a therapist to help determine the best next step.
Leticia Summers is a freelance writer based in Texas who has been writing about family and relationships for nearly 10 years. She occasionally serves as a consultant for family law attorneys in the Houston area.